I had a big, random paid episode (we thought it was a cyst on my ovaries that had burst) that landed me in hospital. After scans, they found a large mass on the outside of my bowel. I was transferred to a Colorectal Surgeon to begin the investigations. It took 2 months, 3 procedures, 7 days in hospital on IV antibiotics, a lot of sleepless nights, a rather cowboy biopsy and PET scan to get the diagnosis… a moment which will be etched into my soul forever.
I’ll never forget the moment my Surgeon shared my diagnosis… it was as if time stopped and everything went into slow motion. He kept talking but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. In an instant everything I believed to be true about the world and my place in it was shattered into a million pieces. I mean, I’m a 36-year-old mum of three little humans – things like this just doesn’t happen to people like me. Until all of a sudden it does, and everything changes.
My treatment has included monthly Lanreotide injections, 25 rounds of targeted radiation (which put me into surgical menopause for so I’m now on HRT), four rounds of Lutate at the Royal Brisbane Women’s Hospital and monthly sessions with my Integrative GP to reduce my inflammation, balance my hormones, remove heavy metals etc. I’m so grateful for the progressive research, the exciting advancements in treatments and the doctors and nurses who dedicate their life’s work to helping heal me.
I have also been casting my net wide and saying a wholehearted ‘yes’ to anything and everything when it comes to the realm of mind, body and spirit. From psychology sessions, to seeing a Medical Intuitive, to Rapid Transformation Therapy, to breathwork and meditation, to energy healing, Human design to Kinesiology, Infrared saunas, Acupuncture, Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy, Earthing, Exercise, Spiritual Healing, to Psychics, Crystals, Angel readings, Astrology and Aura Cleansing.
About 3 months into my diagnosis, I wrote my diagnosis in my scrapbook – Incurable Cancer. And I thought to myself… what if I just put one more line on the ‘n’? All of a sudden ‘Incurable’ becomes ‘Im curable’. The dark clouds over me parted and therein, my mission to prove I’m curable began. From that moment, I became a yes girl – willing try anything and everything, go to the ends of the earth and leave no stone unturned. Because I have three incredible little humans who need me. But as the months passed, it became so much more than that.
By looking inwards and upwards, slowing down and seeking spaciousness, being bold and brave, opening my lens and inviting trust building moments into my heart, I’m realising that this world is filled with and fuelled by magic, awe and wonder. I’ve witnessed it too many times for it to be a fluke. And so the million dollar question – would I change the cards I’ve been dealt? My answer might surprise you.
I’m aware that the odds are stacked against me, and I have a VERY rocky and uncertain road ahead, but I am determined to live a long life and see my kids grow old. So I’m eternally and deeply grateful to NECA, my Oncologists, Surgeon’s, Doctors & Nurses, Healers, Family, Friends and Community for rallying behind me, picking me up when I fall and doing everything in their power (whether it be treatment, research, wellbeing support etc) to guide me through the darkness and into the light. I believe in miracles. And I believe in the power of love. And I believe in me.
